Love is a funny thing. I don’t think that you really love someone or something on purpose. I think it just happens; usually unknowingly. However, once you find it, you have to want it and take care of it in order to hold on to it. Some of the things and people I love most in this world came about not because I wanted them to (that sounds terrible but hear me out), but because they were there when I needed them the most. Sometimes for a huge reason, and sometimes for a seemingly insignificant one.
It’s also ironic how the things and people we love change over time. Take going to parties as an example. When I was younger, I used to love being social and going to a sleepover at a friends house, a school dance, a sorority formal, a wedding, a club, whatever. Now, my idea of the best Saturday night possible is staying at home with my boyfriend, cooking dinner or ordering Chinese food, watching something we love (recently Criminal Minds or Parks and Rec), drinking some wine, and if we’re really feeling wild, maybe playing a board game. Although I’ve always been pretty introverted and a homebody, my college-self would have never believed me if I said that there would come a time in my life where I truly would like nothing more than to just be home with zero plans on the horizon.
Or look at food. I used to have such a sweet tooth, and while I do occasionally like dessert (specifically sour gummy bears or Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Bun ice cream), it typically ends up giving me a terrible headache and making me feel like crap. So I am already a boring adult at the ripe old age of 25 that much prefers Cabernet and sharp cheese to Moscato and cookies.
Or look at people. There are so many people that used to be such a large part of my life that just aren’t anymore. And these are people that I’ve been in relationships with, lived with, known for 15 years, went on vacations with, told everything to, and just generally was obsessed with being around. Now, other than my family and boyfriend, I probably have a group of about ten people that I can honestly say I truly love with my whole heart. And I hope they’ll be in my life forever, but nobody really can ever know that for certain.
So with all that being said, I really believe that love is a dynamic thing. And not just the love with one entity, but love in general. It moves in waves and in seasons and somehow magically adapts to the certain time in your life that you are in. Isn’t it funny how (at least for me) something typically tends to turn up just when you need it the most? I think that’s what love is.
People say that you have to “work” for love, and while I think this is true to an extent, I also disagree. Love should be easy and fun and not need to be pushed. It should be effortless and simple and hysterical and your sense of peace in the day. Someone once told me that if you wonder what or who you really love, just think about what you gravitate towards the most. Currently for me that is:
My best girlfriends
Books – right now, Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist
The Ellen Degeneres Show – sounds odd, but her show brings a light to my day (and you’ll come to know my obsession with her eventually)
Children – the kids I volunteer with at church on Sundays can put a smile on my face for the whole week
Spotify – specifically She & Him and Mumford & Sons
Good food and wine
Travel – mainly to see somewhere new and to unplug from the world
It might seem like a simple list, but that is the main thing I love: simplicity. I love when things are organized and put in their right place. I like when people are easygoing, when things go according to plan, and crossing things off my to-do list. My favorite hobby should be throwing things away. A lot of people seem to mistake simplicity for naivety, but I think it’s the exact opposite. I think that people who love things that are simple have seen how it is when things get messy and complicated, and they just prefer the opposite. Nothing wrong with that. Some people love drama and change and excitement (and nothing wrong with that at all!), but that’s just not me.
I love knowing that Chris and I will get home from work and go workout for 45 minutes at LA Fitness, cook a meal we’ve made a thousand times (currently some sort of baked fish seasoned with Mrs. Dash, sweet potato fries, and garlic roasted balsamic brussels sprouts), talk about our days, watch a couple episodes of Criminal Minds, laugh at the cats, and go to sleep.
I love knowing that when I go over to my parents house the dog will have to sit on the mat to wait for me to get inside (my mom’s orders) and will be so excited she can hardly stand it, that the news will always be on in the kitchen, that my mom will tell me some funny story about her day, that my dad will come give me a hug when he gets home from work, and that my little sisters will be running around like wild.
I love what I know.
Although change and surprises can be fun (sometimes), and I am certainly not against it, routines are where it’s at for me. I love when I can rely on someone or something entirely and know the peace it will bring me.
February is definitely classified as the love month, and I hate that so much. I do not think that we need a certain day to tell people we love them. Love means way more to me than that and should be practiced every moment of every day.
Who or what are you loving the most right now?