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What They Taught Me – Part 1

Good morning!

A while ago, I started writing what I thought would be a book. Since then, I have realized that while I still really do have a strong desire to write a book, it won’t be about what I thought it might be. So I have all these little excerpts saved on my computer that I don’t really want just sitting around anymore, so I figured why not post them here?

This little mini series titled “What They Taught Me” is about just that – what some of the most influential people in my life have helped me to learn over the years. And since I am already getting into total mom-mode, I thought it would be best to start out with something about my own mom. She is a really wonderful woman and while I haven’t always listened to her advice in the past, I find myself relying on it more and more now that I am figuring out how Chris and I want to raise our own children.

Everything below is what I had originally written for the book.

__________

I like to learn things, but I am selective about my teachers. I was always a good student, but I really excelled in the classes that I connected with the instructors. I’ve got this weird thing where if someone rubs me the wrong way (not literally), I basically just tune them out. This is true of anyone in my life. I’m still unsure if it’s a good or a bad thing – probably good because I don’t allow their energy in, but bad because it can come across as judgmental and rude.

Anyway, I’ve had some favorite teachers over the years, with none of them being in a conventional classroom setting. These are some of the people that I accredit my life to, because they were a big part in helping me to realize these truths.

My Mom

“If it’s hard in the beginning, it will be hard always.”

It took me a long time to admit it, but my mother has always been and will probably always be the most prominent teacher in my life. When I was a bratty teenager, the last thing I wanted was for her to tell me what to do. Now that I am a grown adult, I wish she would make 100% of my decisions for me, ground me so I have an excuse to say no to plans, and tell me to go to bed at 8:30pm every night. That sounds like heaven.

One of the things that she has always stressed to me is the quote above: “If it’s hard in the beginning, it will be hard always.” Now this isn’t saying that you start to learn to cook, struggle because all you’ve ever made on your own is toast, and never figure it out. It’s mainly referring to relationships, and I have found this to be such a solid truth in my patterns with men and friendships.

I’m not going to lie – I dated a lot of people before meeting my husband, Chris. I was scared to be alone. I did everything in my power to avoid that. And you know what? From the very beginning, I knew that there was something wrong in each and every one of those relationships, whether it lasted two days or two years. There was just always that little thing that I sometimes couldn’t even put my finger on that was just off. I was always on edge, always anxious, and always crying to my mom about these guys. And you know what she always said to me?: “Allison, you are only dating this guy. If it’s hard now, can you imagine how hard it will be when you bring finances, children, death, and real problems into the relationship once you get married?”

I thought she was crazy and completely wrong. I just knew at one point in time that I was going to marry each and every one of those men, but of course, I also broke up with each and every one of those men.

From our very first date, things were just easy with Chris. I’m not one for a big grandiose, dramatic relationship. I like simple. We developed a laidback, happy relationship, and now we have a marriage that is overflowing with love, joy, simplicity, and fun. I am happier than I ever imagined I would be, and I am so grateful to not only my husband for that, but also to my mom for helping me to realize all the truths along the way that eventually led me to him.

Mom, you were right.

__________

On a totally different note, how is your day going? I feel like I am already in this huge nesting mode and am just getting more and more anxious by the day to meet our child. I am really working on getting my life in order, which is something I am always striving to do, but especially now with the arrival of our little one coming in a little under five months. I have been in major purge mode, from things in our house to apps on my phone to documents on my computer. I just want everything as simplified and clean as possible so we have one less thing to think about! That has really been the only thing consuming my life lately, and I’m not mad about it one bit. I am trying to lay low as much as possible, because my body has totally been giving me signs that my baby and I need to rest. Plus, when I am still and quiet is when I feel him or her move around the most which I totally love.

I hope you all are having a great week & I’ll talk to you soon. 🙂

#Lessons #Motherhood #Book #Mom #Teachers #Writing

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